In a quest to truly learn my way around the city I’ve decided to take a series of self-guided walking tours that are designed to help me get more familiar with the various neighborhoods, hot spots and points of interest San Francisco has to offer. I purchased a box of 50 tour cards with maps on one side and a quick tour narrative on the other. I figured I’d do a tour a week and by the end of the year I should know my way around like a native or just enough to get lost on a regular basis. Will I actually do a tour every week? I doubt it however I will work my way through the deck until I’ve done everyone.

My first adventure recently took me into the well-known “Chinatown” district and WOW I think my brain is till on sensory overload. Not in a bad way it’s just overloaded with sites, sounds, smells and the energy that comes from being in a crowded and unknown place bustling with activity.

From what I’ve read, San Francisco boasts the world’s largest Asian population (outside of Asia of course) and Chinatown is one of the country’s most densely populated neighborhoods. I haven’t taken the time to actually check primary resources on these stats but I’m good with just assuming they’re true after spending just one day in the hood. From my experience I can honestly say Chinatown is the most densely populated neighborhood I’ve ever walked through.

The tour I took was actually two walking tours I combined into one; Chinatown 1, which is the “for the tourists” street and then the Chinatown 2, which is the “for the locals, nothing is written in English” street. I walked both. The starting point of this city adventure was at the corner of Sutter and Grant and from there I traveled north on Sutter to Vallejo, over to Stockton back down south to Sacramento, back up to Jackson and eventually back to the starting point (with a couple stops along the way).

Chinatown 1: At first glance it looked like someone had gathered all the Chinese touristy nick-knack and trinket stores and strategically relocated them onto one condensed street. And there they all were, beckoning you to purchase treasures you probably had no need for but could justify ownership of.

I’ve never seen so many scarves, silk slippers, purses, bowls and woks, spools of fabric, Buddha statues, beads and glass chandeliers in my life. Not just in one place I mean in my entire life altogether. At first it was overwhelming and then it continued to be overwhelming and then I realized that everything that was overwhelming me was exactly the same from one store to the next. It was one big giant Chinese trinket store with several doors.

I asked myself “how does one effectively market their business here?” Seriously every store carried the exact identical items and the prices looked similar. After a while I wasn’t sure if I was leaving a store or entering a new one. I could only come up with one theory and that is; doing business on this street is like a game of roulette, you just have to bank on the odds and know that eventually the wheel stops and the ball inevitably has no choice but to drop in a slot. All tourists eventually break down and shop if presented with enough opportunities to do so. If you’re a lucky storeowner that tourist happens to break down at your door.

I myself would not break down however, I decided to willingly brave each and every store….yep, I walked in every store and loitered about. I waved at every Buddha, admired countless bands of jade and was sure to carefully inspect table wear, chop sticks, slippers and other things I had no idea what they were for. And I can honestly say that at no point did I every think “ahhhhh this would be a great gift for so-and-so (friends and family insert name here) however for a brief moment I imagined my daughter having fun looking at everything.

In all fairness, Chinatown 1 is not just about trinkets. Well it kind of is (to me anyway). No, it’s about culture too. Trinkets and culture. Just off the main drag is Portsmouth Square, the city’s first civic center during the gold rush years and it’s the perfect gathering for the young and old. Portsmouth square is where children play while the elders indulge in card and board games. Upside down cardboard boxes turned into makeshift gaming tables were sprinkled throughout the entire square with endless groups huddled around to either play or to cheer on their friends.While I was a foreigner in this place not speaking their language I could certainly still get the gist of what was going on. There’s a universal language of victorious banter and the crushing disappointment of game playing.

I lingered for a while but didn’t want to over stay my welcome so I decided to continue on to the second part of my walking tour, which was Chinatown 2.

Chinatown 2: This is clearly the “for the locals” part of Chinatown. There wasn’t anything written in English to be found and the trinket shops pretty much disappeared. This part of Chinatown seemed to be mostly about food. The streets where lined with fresh produce, pre-packaged dried food staples and tiny and sparse restaurants where meat and fish were prepared. Similar to Chinatown 1 it seemed like every single market on this side carried the exact same items as their neighbors. And I can honestly say I’ve never seen so many ingredients packaged in clear cellophane bags. It was a vortex of umami and busy shoppers coming at me from all sides.

I walked for blocks and blocks throughout the Chinatown 2 tour and found myself in such a buzz from the density of people and chatter I started to lose my bearings as to which street I was on, what direction I was heading to and where my original starting point was. It was time for me to call it a day!

According to my rout card I was supposed to stop by the Chinese Historical Society of America which I did not and the Kong Chow Temple, the country’s oldest Buddhist temple which I did not either because at this point I was completely overwhelmed. Maybe that’s why these tours are recommended to do separately. Who knows? I’ll eventually get back. Maybe. I did however attempt to find the Golden Gate Fortune Cookie Company on my way back but was not successful…I guess their fortune had run out…or mine.

I may be just learning my way around, but I am still…

The Urban Mountaineer